Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay topic: 

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been a variety of methods to bring up children in this day and age. Many suggest that being competitive should be more prevalent, while others reject this notion, believing that team working is far more important. Discussed below are several factors which account for the stark contrast between these two perspectives.

To begin with, one of the major benefits associated with encouraging students to compete is that it could be considered as motivation. It is believed that competing is human's nature and has pushed mankind to revolutionize life by creating modern gadgets, bulding skycrappers, inventing aeroplanes and so on. Therefore, in educational environment, organizing contests probably promotes sense of competition among students, helps them achieve personal best or pass others. Additionally, preparation for life is another advantage. As we all know, due to population boom and economic crisis in recent years, millions of people become unemployed and homeless and thousands of companies go bankrupt. If one is disqualified for the job, he or she will lose opportunity to other candidates. Consequently, putting high priority on competitiveness in school can improve children's awareness of real life and prevent them from being misguided and lost.

However, the latter idea also proves to be effective as it brings a wige range of benefits. Firstly, social skill is one of them. Since job tasks in office are more sophisticated, they require joint effort to be completed before deadlines. Knowing how to deal with colleagues is of particular significance that every students should be taught. Furthermore, focusing on co-operation also helps save time. Apparently, work can be done in considerably shorter time when more co-operative people get involved in it. According to a recent research into two different workplaces, the outcome of which has better team working was 25% higher than that of its counterpart.

In the light of these facts, I personally believe that a combination of the two above mentioned methods is, without doubt, better than exercising each alone because all the values are needed for students to become better residents.

Sentence: Knowing how to deal

Sentence: Knowing how to deal with colleagues is of particular significance that every students should be taught and practise.
Error: practise Suggestion: practiced

Sentence: According to a recent reasearch into two different workplaces, the outcome of which has better team working was 25 higher than that of its counterpart.
Error: reasearch Suggestion: research

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 8.0 out of 9
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Characters: 1799 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.26 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.942 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.468 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.258 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.45 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5