WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar graph below shows the numbers of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia in the year 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Essay topic: 

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar graph below shows the numbers of employed persons by job type and

sex for Australia in the year 2003.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make

comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

The bar graph illustrates the numbers of males and females employed in different types of jobs in Australia in the year 2003. It is clearly seen that the number of people employed in different types of jobs varies significantly between males and females.

For males, highest number of people was employed as tradepersons and clerks, with almost 900 000 people each job. There was 650 000 people employed as professionals, closely followed by managers (about 610 000 people). Semi professionals and production sectors had about 500 000 employees, and the least number of people words as labourers (400 000 people).

As for females, there was a large variation in the different field of jobs, with most females being employed as clerks ( slightly more than 950 000 people). On the other hand, least number of females worked as tradepersons and in the production sector, with 100 000 people each.

Comparing both males and females, a similar trend of most people worked in clerical sector was observed. There was nine times more men than women was employed as tradepersons and five times more man than women employed in the production sector.

flaws: Sentence Length

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 3.197 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 8.0 out of 9
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 189 200
No. of Characters: 923 1000
No. of Different Words: 90 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.708 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.884 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.565 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.197 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.222 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.519 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.762 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.241 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4