"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Essay topic: 

"Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives.

What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

There is no doubt that young people are becoming victim of the hectic routines of life such as social, educational and economic. In this essay, I will contend the key reasons behind this new trend and try to bring some solutions for this dark cycle.

“Children are the next generation, so they need to be advanced and formidable contender for the globe”, this has become a motto of every family. Parents insist their child to get good grades, show extraordinary skills and grasp the world knowledge and skills. For example, in India, last year a five year old child became popular on television news channel and known as “little Albert Einstein”. People were asking questions to him and he successfully gave most of the answers. However, he seemed to be shy, quiet and cynical young one. Hence, the pressure on him seemed so high that he failed to socialize properly. Secondly, society wants children to behave like adult, be mannered in the parties and soon. Such environment gives birth to unemotional, indolent and to lucrative thinker child. Although in the future of this ecological world, such skills matters but such routine takes him far from social bonds.

However, there is still a time to stop. Firstly, parents should be given an awareness that children are not to play with. They need a personal space for hobbies and interest. For example, children like to play with friends, video games and they like to share their experience and ideas with parents. All these features will, ultimately, lead to socially strong adult citizen. Although, academically intelligence is equally necessary, to accomplish this, the little ones could be indulged into a schedule in their favour of all fundamental needs including their interest rather to pressurize them to go on one way only.

To conclude, although intelligent children are the pillar of the society, but for this they need not to take a cynical shape. Intelligence never comprised of only education and societal perspectives, it needs all rounder child including physically strong and emotional needs.

such skills matters such

such skills matters
such skills matter

Sentence: Although, academically intelligence is equally necessary, to accomplish this, the little ones could be indulged into a schedule in their favour of all fundamental needs including their interest rather to pressurize them to go on one way only.
Description: The fragment , academically intelligence is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace academically with adjective

although intelligent children are the pillar of the society, but for this...
Description: Don't put although and But in one sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 340 350
No. of Characters: 1670 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.294 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.912 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.534 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.895 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.958 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.262 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.447 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5