In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay topic: 

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, youngsters spend a higher proportion of their life in the education system as witnessed by the popularity of tertiary studies. This is coupled by the heavier load of study materials in the likes of crafts and economics which students have to master besides traditional disciplines such as science. Though various economic and social factors account for this increasingly stressful life, cures can, nevertheless, be devised.

On one hand, while past generations were able to secure a decent-paying position with a low level of education, nowadays, youngsters attending university are not guaranteed such a privilege due to the competitive employment market. As some countries grapple with an economic slowdown, job markets tighten even further. In turn, these add additional pressure on young people to study harder in order to shine brighter among the pool of job applicants. Moreover, the mechanization and computerization of our industries have skewed the demand for occupations towards those requiring an IT or engineering background which demand a higher standard of knowledge.

Moreover, these economic changes have engendered cultural and social shifts, especially in Asian countries which are currently growing at the fastest pace. In these nations, children are generally expected to perform well to make their parents proud and maintain the honor of their family. As these societies are more and more driven by materialism, the focus has, thus, turned towards education as a means to maintain social status. As such, youngsters are encouraged to attend further private tuitions after schools, leaving little time for leisure activities.

The complex nature of the problems lying at the root of students’ ordeal requires a set of solutions instead of a single fix. First, teachers may encourage students to aim for jobs which they are passionate about instead of targeting those with the highest pay cheque. Governments worldwide can join hands to revive their economic engine in order to spur job creations. Perhaps they can focus on cultural areas such as arts. Although not triggering the creation of luxurious products which satisfy our materialistic greed, creative shows and designs, nevertheless, enable us to lead a more enjoyable life.

To summarize, despite the increased hours of study expected from students, measures can be implemented to lessen their burden. Though our economy is likely to suffer with some of them, our standard of livings will take a boost in the process.

flaws: Sentence Length

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 5.714 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 2068 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.289 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.82 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.714 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.272 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5