"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essay topic: 

"Prevention is better than cure."

Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An array of non-transmittable diseases in the likes of obesity can be prevented with the appropriate measures. Nevertheless, they seem to be wreaking havoc among an increasing proportion of the population. As such, devoting a larger share of the national budget to them is likely to positively impact the economy and society. However, scientific research has its limits and not all illnesses can currently be classified as preventable.

On one hand, urging individuals to adopt a healthy lifestyle will pre-empt the emergence of obesity and other related ills such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. This is recommended as maintaining a lean diet and exercising regularly are cheaper than hiring a surgeon to rectify an artery blocked from years of indulging in high-cholesterol food. Simultaneously, society is less likely to unnecessarily incur additional indirect costs such as sick leaves or unemployment benefits stemming from medical emergencies. A healthy employee is also more productive at the workplace. In the long run, the economy is likely to progress at a faster pace as millions are saved on medical services.

Nonetheless, the leading causes of certain illnesses, for example, Alzheimer, remain unknown to date. Other ills, such as, cancers are hereditary and will ultimately affect the unfortunate individual despite his numerous attempts at keeping them at bay. Unfortunately, chemotherapy and other treatments are relatively expensive as compared to an advertising campaign against smoking, for instance. It would be unfair to refuse or restrict medical treatments to patients, who are powerless against certain diseases, on monetary grounds. Hence, whilst scientists are toiling towards finding a preventive cure, a reasonable amount of a country’s health budget should be earmarked for these non-preventable diseases.

To summarize, a higher fraction of a nation’s medical budget should be reserved for health education and preventative measures as long as the illnesses in question are avoidable in a certain manner. Otherwise, more financial resources should be set aside to research diseases whose mechanics remain beyond the realms of understanding of doctors and scientists.

Sentence: Hence, whilst

Sentence: Hence, whilst scientists are toiling towards finding a preventive cure, a reasonable amount of a country's health budget should be earmarked for these non-preventable diseases.
Error: whilst Suggestion: while

Sentence: To summarize, a higher fraction of a nation's medical budget should be reserved for health education and preventative measures as long as the illnesses in question are avoidable in a certain manner.
Error: preventative Suggestion: preventive

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 5.607 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 8.0 out of 9
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 332 350
No. of Characters: 1836 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.269 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.53 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.214 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.607 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5