Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay topic: 

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is undeniable that healthy citizens are the backbone of any society. While many people suggest that the most feasible method to improve social health status is to construct more sports centres, others reject this idea, believing that it would not bring much benefit. Presented below are several factors accounting for the stark contrast between these two perspectives.

Admittedly, investing in sports facilities projects is beneficial for certain reasons. Firstly, it possibly brings playing sports become a widespread habit. The availability of modern sports centres, without doubt, can attract people’s attention and persuade them to take up yoga, karate of tennis. In fact, a lack of new practicing devices as well as qualified coaches is the main reason why the Vietnamese alienate these places. Secondly, if numerous sports centres are built, the fees will be reduced sharply. As a result, more people will join sports courses as the price is generally more affordable.

Although this implementation could be justified in multiple aspects, it also has a number of shortcomings. Obviously, people now have no time for their parents, children and social life because of work stress, not to mention recreational activities. In other words, inhabitants are under great pressure since recent economic crises force them to work harder to secure their vacancies at the workplace. Therefore, financial support for sports facilities from the governments will be a waste and the benefits will remain limited. The authority should accordingly introduce alternative measures. More specifically, building modern hospitals along with upgrading the old ones, free classes teaching first aid skills, medical campaigns to improve public awareness of epidemic could be some of the possible methods.

As displayed above, I am of the opinion that new sports centres construction should take the backseat in the priority list. However, in order to improve public health, several measures need to be implemented simultaneously.

Sentence: In fact, a lack of

Sentence: In fact, a lack of new practising devices as well as qualified coaches is the main reason why the Vietnamese alienate these places.
Error: practising Suggestion: practicing

Sentence: As a result, more people will join sports courses as the price is generally more affordble.
Error: affordble Suggestion: affordable

Sentence: The authority should accordingly introduce alterative measures.
Error: alterative Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 308 350
No. of Characters: 1662 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.189 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.396 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.736 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.118 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.986 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.041 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5