In britain when someone gets old they often go to live in a home, with other old people. There are Nurses to look after them and sometimes the Government pays for their Care.Who do you think, should pay Government or the Family?

Essay topic: 

In britain when someone gets old they often go to live in a home, with other old people. There are Nurses to look after them and sometimes the Government pays for their Care.Who do you think, should pay Government or the Family?

In an old age, retirees often prefer to live in nursing homes. However, not everyone could afford to pay high cost of such houses. Most people argue that at such situation, government should pay the expenses while other states that this is the duty of the family of old person. According to me, this issue needs a combined effort of an individual, government and the family. In this essay, I will contend more than one reason to support my views and will provide some relevant examples.

Firstly, an individual should be responsible for his old age funds. He can save money during his working age. For example, there are various insurance services where a person can pay monthly instalments. And in his old age, he receives influx of cash with interest rate to support his living. However, it is not always possible to save amount due to the high cost of living and family needs.

Secondly, this becomes a duty of the government to support senior citizen’s living cost, owing to the fact that during the adult age, he gives his share as building the nation and its success. For example, soldiers fight for the security of the nation and they never care for the day, night and bullets on their body. So, this becomes a duty of the government to pay back their hard work during their old age. However, such additional responsibility will add more burden on government shoulders. As government also provide funds to better education and health system and other amenities and services. However, more funds to support seniors means additional burden for tax payers.

Lastly, the solution again goes towards big family structure. So, government can support such families by providing subsidy over tax. Moreover, having old people at home will help the families to raise children and strong social and emotional bonds

To recapitulate, although there are different ways to resolute this issue but they all have negatives in this regard. However, being a big family structure is the best remedy for this problem and to uplift the family relationship bonds.

Sentence: Moreover, having

Sentence: Moreover, having old people at home will help the families to raise children and strong social and emotional bonds To recapitulate, although there are different ways to resolute this issue but they all have negatives in this regard.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to resolute and this

flaws:
Be sensitive to use 'However'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 347 350
No. of Characters: 1655 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.316 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.769 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.396 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.767 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5